Stopping Negative Thoughts: Saying No to Yourself

Stopping negative thoughts isn't easy. Here's a method to help you learn to set boundaries with yourself.

I’m often asked the “secret” to stopping negative thoughts. I have a lot to say about the subject. There are a lot of different methods out there. The fact is that no matter which method you try, stopping negative thoughts takes a lot of work. It doesn’t happen over night. It doesn’t happen in a week. It doesn’t happen in a month. Sure, you could see some progress over time, but it’s not magic. And there’s not a single fucking person on the face of the planet that is 100% pure magic and happy magical goddamn unicorns dancing through their heads. Sorry.

I wish it happened overnight or even in a week because I’d have saved myself and the rest of us spite fighters a whole lot of fucking time and heartache, right? But….that’s just not reality.

So, how what’s the trick?

Stopping Negative Thoughts By Telling Yourself NO

I know this is going to seem like a novel concept to you. I am very much a “be your own best friend” and a “be your own parent if you had shitty parents” type of person. We’re going to focus on something else, though. We’re going to focus on stopping negative thoughts by telling ourselves NO. That’s right – we’re setting boundaries by starting with ourselves.

The fact is, once we get out of the shitty situation that causes our brains to keep repeating the bullshit those negative thoughts over and over to us, we become our own worst enemies. Our brains become a broken records. It picks up where the assholes left off. When you catch yourself in the beginning, middle or end of a negative thought, tell yourself no. Stop the thought in its track. Then, say the exact opposite to yourself even if it feels like a lie. And there’s a damn good chance it will feel like a lie. I know. I felt just like that, too. Sometimes, in the midst of a panic attack (as some one with complex PTSD) it may still feel like a lie when I’m working through all my coping mechanisms…but I do it anyway because I get through the shitty part faster.

So, do the work. Say no. Tell the negative thought no. Don’t give yourself an excuse about why you cannot say no. Do it anyway.

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